The Core – the core that no one sore

Armageddon happens but instead of going in outer space the team of ORDINARY people go into inner earth!

Military talk science military stuff that the audience does not understand.

Aaron Eckhart explains everything with a piece of fruit – to the military…not for the audience to understand or anything…

Every day man with a heart of gold, woman with a masculine side played by academy award winner Hilary Swank, black guy, uptight older guy, two unknown actors. There’s our team! A team whereby it is extremely difficult to decipher who will survive.

The ship parks outside a blue screen. Here it will remain, while trying to convince the audience they are delving into the earth’s core.

Hilary effortlessly flies the ship.

Team exits ship into the core. They do some experiment. Half an hour into the film – unidentifiable actor #1 looks smug and turns to the crew, ‘you know…I think everything’s gonna be allllllrrright!’ He dies immediately after saying this.

Crew don’t even bother moping or feeling sad, he was that unimportant.

Unidentifiable actor #2 is feeling a bit too overly sentimental toward his children’s photographs. Suddenly, a situation occurs where he can either save himself or the photos. Guess which one he picks. Seriously, fucking guess.

After he is disposed of, uptight guy starts endangering himself by threatening the crew. He is subsequently punished.

Black guy, being black, really has to go. He doesn’t escape the rule as he is not the rapper LL Cool J. He dies quite a painful death.

Amongst all the death scenes, we are constantly treated to scenes of the military looking at big graphs and maps and looking serious.

Aaron and Hilary are desperate to kill themselves and continue with the suicidal mission without a plan.

They end up saving the world. The military do not care.

Sonar waves and whales save the two somehow by circling their position under the sea.

Rock song plays by a cheaper version of Aerosmith…just like at the end of Armageddon.

The audience feel nothing, as there were no audiences for this film.