Worst of the decade

Captivity - Oh dear, this wins by a mile. Worst experience I have ever had watching a film. Completely disgusting, misogynist, insane and not a teeny bit scary, it is simply an endurance test. Not only the worst of the decade, but worst film I have EVER seen (review to follow)

Hostel Part II - this is like Citizen Kane in comparison to Captivity, but bloody hell, it is TERRIBLE (again review to follow). I particuarly like the scene below, oooh look how poetic and eery this film is. It isn't, it's a steaming pile of self indulgent crap for Eli Roth.



Knowing - see below for full feelings - absolutely atrocious.

Prince Caspian - marginally worse than the dire original; how can a film with less Aslan still manage to be bad?

Narnia - dire dire dire, a real struggle to get through it.

The strangers - arrghhhh, I had high hopes from the eerie trailer, but NOTHING scary happens (review to follow)

Mummy 3 - overlong, boring, tedious cheesy garbage

The Notebook - what can be said that hasnt been? overrated spine chilling 'romance', I actually cannot believe these two became a couple in real life as they share zero chemistry.



A good year - Russell Crowe 'Ohhh I think I'll try comedy, I think I'll be good at that!' agent 'errr, Russelll...' 'SHUT UP, I AM RUSSELL CROWE, PHONE IN HEAD FOR YOU!!'. Agent was right incidently, Russell is not a natural comic (surprisingly)

The black dahlia - ooohh, let's do a film noir and reinvent the tired genre. FAIL. Josh Hartnett has even less charisma than Nic Cage and Hilary Swank is better playing boys instead of femme fatales.

Date Movie - evil, disgusting, laugh free, what is Alison Hannigan doing? I couldnt decide between the following 2 scenes, so just watch. The creators of Norbit must have thought clip 1 was hilarious and decided to make a movie around dancing fat women.





Deception - twist free!

2012 - AWFUL - review to follow

Casanova - What a shame, Heath looks bored, it must have been filmed after Brokeback and he was nackered. Laugh free and the two leads have no chemistry. The director injected magic into a film about Chocolate, it couldnt have been too difficult to make the life of Casanova semi interesting?!

The Happening - ooooh, it is terrible, but there is something enjoyable about it as it is HILARIOUSLY bad.




American Wedding - This was just the Stifler show, Sean William Scott is in every scene, what a shame he isnt funny.

Bewitched - terrible, very difficult to get through.

How the Grinch stole Christmas - painful, shame on you Ron Howard!

Hulk - borrrrrinnnggggg

I'll always know what you did last summer - well it was obviously going to be shit, but such a cop out revelaing the killer is the reanimated corpse of the previous two films!

The Grudge - meoww, burrp, repeat. (Review to follow)

Troy - pouty Brad, weak Orlando, Eric killed too early on, Lack of Sean Bean - EPIC DISASTER

Scary Movie 2 - disgusting, I'm a secret fan of the first film, but this is just awful.

Something's gotta give - oh Nancy Meyers, what is with overbloated, overlong romantic comedies? Why would anyone pick Jack Nicholson over Keanu Reeves??

Pearl Harbor - It is painful, but HILARIOUS. Ben is ridiculously hammy.