The Holiday

Love love love love – see even someone like Jack Black can be loved!

Kate wants to be loved

Cameron is NEUROTIC and dumps her unattractive boyfriend. She plays the same character she has ever played, ever.

Cameron can’t cry. This is made a big point of. Me thinks she will learn to cry by the end?

Kate and Cameron despite never meeting or talking, assume that both are attractive trustworthy women with wonderful houses and exchange everything. The website even has an msn software built into it, to make the arrangements be made very fast to get the plot going – wait, plot?

Kate jumps around like an idiot trying to be funny e.g. doing air guitar when she wakes up in the morning, who the FUCK does that

Kate isn’t funny at all

As the attention is on Cameron, they don’t have time for a Kate romance storyline, so she just spends her time following around an old quack. This is both boring and frightening to watch.

Jack Black pops up now and again looking diseased and also EXTREMELY uncomfortable ‘must…not…do…outrageous…comedy’.

Kate fake laughs at everything he does – see; funny fat guys need love too!

Cameron meanwhile falls for heart of gold Jude Law – he cries! He has children! He’s English! You can see Jude Law looking EXTREMELY uncomfortable playing such a nice sweetheart ‘must…not…be…a slime ball- must win Sienna back’

His kids incidentally are something between the exorcist/shining representations of children. They are FRIGHTENING. I never want to have children.

Jack and Kate somehow get together, despite not saying I like you, holding hands or even one kiss – they just kind of fall together at the end.

This is probably for the best – no one wants to see Jack eat Kate’s face off.
Jack therefore eats himself