Twilight

Bella – angst, angst, angst
Bella arrives at a new school and sees Edward Cullen and his HAIR (fangirls - *squeel!!! * omg omg omg!)
Who is he?
Oh that’s Edward Cullen, don’t worry about him, he NEVER dates anyone, ANYONE
Despite having very high standards, Edward somehow finds boring bland Bella incredibly attractive.
He shows this by pretending to be sick at the very sight of her to hide his lust.
To make up for this rude behaviour he kinda owes her and nonchalantly saves her life with super powers.
He shows his true nature by standing in the light. He looks a little sparkly = VAMPIRE!
Falling in love montage of dialogue hidden behind music.
Edward I love you!
Bella I love you for no apparent reason! I desperately want to have sex but I will accidentally kill you, I wont be able to stop myself because of the blood.
Metaphors for chastity are rammed down our throats for an hour.
Bella and Edward’s vampire play baseball. Ye old tradition rooted in Bram Stoker. Evil vampires decide Bella is so delicious that they chase after her for 20 minutes. Edward stops them.
They break up eventually though as Bella’s periods prove too much for Edward to handle.